I have had a very busy weekend. It was nice outside so I went and touched a little grass this weekend which more people should do. But this evening was the first time I have been able to sit in-front of a computer and write this weekend. Thank goodness I used the lump 3 feet above my ass a few weeks ago and wrote a few blogs in advance so I can just post them and not have to worry about writing if I had a busy day. Yeah, I know I am incredibly smart and people tell me that all the time, yes, even your mother and your sister.
But today I am not here to tell you about something as awesome as I am, today, I am here to demand something. I demand that Pop-tarts stop cheating us, the American people, of their once delicious snack. What do I mean by this? Have you had a Pop-tart within the last few years? They are literally half the snack they used to be. The frosting is thin as paper and the filling is barely enough to taste. Also, the length of the tart has shortened by a lot.
For todays Pop-tart rant, I will be using one of the best flavors, S'mores. If you do not agree with me you can argue with a brick wall. For starters, let's look at the box to see what Kellogg’s is telling us what the S'mores Pop-tart is supposed to look like.
Oh wow that looks really god. Nice and gooey with a ton of filling and frosting all the way to the edges. That looks really appetizing does it not. So surely the product that is inside resembles what we see on the outside.
Well, at least they got the shape right and the color is pretty close. The texture is no where close and the frosting on the sides is nowhere near the edge. I mean just look at the corners at the top. The quality control on the frosting is very poor as well, but they can redeem it by having that nice and pretty gooey inside. Lets break this bad boy in half and see what we got here.
This part is actually very surprising that the inside looks like it does on the box. I really thought Pop-tart just had mush inside as filling. This is not looking good for my whole thing about Pop-tarts going to shit, but we shall take it in stride and keep going. They can win the battle, but not the war.
Let's get to the most important part, the taste. There is really no way to get a Pop-tart from a few years ago and taste test it with a Pop-tart today, but what I do have is memory. Trust me, I have eaten plenty of them as a kid, just trust me bro. I am going to be eating these straight from the box. No heating up by an oven or microwave and no freezing them, either. I have never met anyone that prefers a cold Pop-tart but for some reason there is "how to" instructions on the box. Maybe the can spend less time worrying about freezing them and more time making them look appetizing.
That filling that looks so nice in the pretty striped pattern is a lie. It is all just air. When you bite into it, there is no gush. It is very dry and is deceiving to look at. No burst of flavor either at the initial bite. It kind of just turns into mush after the first chomp and then slides down your throat. As to what it tastes like, it just tastes like marshmallows with cinnamon. No chocolate taste, no graham cracker taste, just marshmallows coated in cinnamon.
Now I could end the blog here, say thats the Tea with T, and we can all move along with our lives. But I am not one to sit around and get bullied by the big guys without them hearing my voice. I will be sending a product concern to Kelloggs saying that their products need to be better and the fact that they have not said anything about the decline of quality to the people that eat their product is wrong.
Here is the message I sent. Creating the picture to get everything they needed is ridiculous. The UPC code and best by date are on opposites sides of the box so it is impossible to get them in the same photo without ripping the box. I made sure in the other questions that they know that I am not asking for a refund. What I am asking for is accountability. Let's put it in sports terms. If a player that was once really good all of a sudden started to play poorly, teams are not going to want that player at the same price that he was when he was really good due to his poor quality of play. Well it is the same here for Pop-tarts, I do not want to pay the same price for a worse product that was at one point, the best in the game. Let's compare the Pop-tart to a Christian Yelich type of player in sports, really good and then just average.
I will be posting updates on if Pop-tarts gets back to me or not on my twitter so please follow me on that, there should be a link on this page somewhere where you can do that. I am not backing down from them, I have done nothing wrong but make some observations about their piss poor quality of products. I hope both parties get what they want, but they will most likely ignore my quality complaint and continue to put out garbage. If this happens I will be calling them and go full Karen mode on they ass. Asking to speak with managers and shit.
Well Dr. King, I am doing my best to get the people the Pop-tarts that they deserve.
Thank you for reading today's blog. I know it was a little bit longer and a little whacky, but I must do what I have to do for the people of this country. Please like and share it would mean a lot and it would spread the word about the Pop-tart crisis.
That is today's Tea, with T
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