Let me just start out by saying this, if you attempt to drink a gallon of milk in one hour, it could cause some serious damage to your body, which makes someone like me, want to do it even more. I am going to break this down in the 5 phases that I went through while drinking the gallon of milk.
Phase 1 - Excitement
I like to say a lot of outrageous things. This has lead to me doing quite some dumb challenges in my life, eating a 5 pound burger, doing the Buffalo Wild Wings Blazin' Challenge ( which I still think I can do if they don't serve the wings at a temperature that causes your mouth to literally burn), and the one that I know I can do, but my body wont let me, drinking a gallon of milk in an hour. My brother was the one who instigated this one for a few weeks before slapping a gallon of milk on my desk at 9 in the morning during an online school day because of covid. I thought I had this one in the bag, or carton, or jug, or whatever your milk comes in.
Phase 2 - I Love Milk
I drink milk almost every day. In grade school they had us drinking milk with everything, burgers, pizza, pasta, it all went with milk for some reason and not like water, or juice or anything normal. I drank the first half gallon of milk in like maybe 15 minutes. There was rumblings that it would be done in only half the time I needed. But it was safe to say that I was feeling real good about my chances of finishing this.
Phase 3 - The Wall
Milk is a heavy liquid. Its a very thick drink and when it fills up your entire stomach, you feel it a little bit. In my mind, I broke it down like this, one gallon is 16 cups, thats like one cup every 4 minutes, and I was already way ahead of pace being over halfway with 45 minutes to go. Every movement I made, I could feel the ice cold milk slosh around in my stomach. I then went to lay down for a little bit and hoped that the milked settled.
Phase 4 - What Goes in, Must Come Out
The milk never settled. I had sipped my gallon all the way down to about 2 cups left with 10 minutes left. But I could feel it, my stomach churning, sweat beading up on my forehead, milk gallon looking at me with the stupid little cow on it. I was cooked. I ran to the bathroom, dropped the drawers and threw the trashcan in front of my face. It was coming out one end, or the other. When your stomach is only milk, your throw up, is also only milk.
Phase 5 - Acceptance
So I didn't drink a gallon of milk in an hour. Instead I threw up, got made fun of, and had a tummy ache for the rest of the day. Mind you, it was an online school day and I was in a zoom class the entire time this happened, and not a single soul knew that I was attempting what was maybe the stupidest thing ever. That was almost 5 years ago now, I still love milk, I even did a milk mile once ( I did it, not fail, or attempt, but did).
All in all, am I glad I attempted the gallon of milk in an hour challenge? Yes, yes I am. Would I want to do it again? Yes, yes I would. You can't teach this kind of persistence (or stupidity).
And thats the Tea, with T
Comments